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| 1 | +--- |
| 2 | +author: |
| 3 | +- name: Kira Howe |
| 4 | + url: https://kiramclean.com |
| 5 | +type: post |
| 6 | +title: Searching for Sunday |
| 7 | +date: 2019-12-10 |
| 8 | +site/group: Reading |
| 9 | +site/tags: |
| 10 | + - faith |
| 11 | + - church |
| 12 | +--- |
| 13 | + |
| 14 | +What is the point of going to church? I ask myself this question weekly. I |
| 15 | +didn't grow up going to any sort of regular religious services, but I'm becoming |
| 16 | +increasingly religious as an adult. I'm inclined to think that church should be |
| 17 | +a part of my faith journey, but mostly because going to church is just what |
| 18 | +religious people do. I've never understood the point, and have experienced quite |
| 19 | +a mixed bag of emotions venturing in and out of a handful of different faith |
| 20 | +communities over the past couple of years. |
| 21 | + |
| 22 | +This is the subject of Rachel Held Evans' book "Searching for Sunday". It's a |
| 23 | +story of her own faith journey and a call to the rest of us on a similar path to |
| 24 | +keep searching. I struggle to find the motivation to continue exploring religion |
| 25 | +and spending time on faith-related ventures. In a season where I'm wondering |
| 26 | +whether religion has any purpose at all, I found this book inspiring. |
| 27 | + |
| 28 | +## Diversity in the church |
| 29 | + |
| 30 | +One of the most refreshing things about this book was her sincere exploration of |
| 31 | +the diversity of faith traditions. This resonated with me. I've spent the most |
| 32 | +time with a Reform Jewish community, but have also been involved to varying |
| 33 | +degrees with Baptist, Presbyterian, United, Anglican, generic non-denominational |
| 34 | +evangelical, Unitarian, Jesuit, Roman Catholic, and Quaker communities over the |
| 35 | +past couple of years, and I'm deeply confused about how we got here. |
| 36 | + |
| 37 | +When I read about the life of Jesus and what he taught, I hear a call to unity. |
| 38 | +And it's not just an empty plea. He teaches us how to get there; we're called to |
| 39 | +love the outcast and welcome the stranger. I don't understand how we ever got to |
| 40 | +a place where churches have literal rules about who's allowed in and who's not. |
| 41 | +It seems to me that there's no bigger obstacle to achieving Jesus' vision for |
| 42 | +humanity than the Church itself. He came to condemn legalistic Jews, but instead |
| 43 | +of taking that message to heart and focusing on the substance of his teachings, |
| 44 | +his followers have just replaced one set of rules for another. |
| 45 | + |
| 46 | +Rachel observes this phenomenon, too, and calls us to understand what grace |
| 47 | +really is. |
| 48 | + |
| 49 | +> Perhaps we’re afraid that if we move, God might use people and methods we |
| 50 | +> don’t approve of, that rules will be broken and theologies questioned. Perhaps |
| 51 | +> we’re afraid that if we get out of the way, this grace thing might get out of |
| 52 | +> hand. Well, guess what? It already has. |
| 53 | +
|
| 54 | +It's inevitable that we will have differences. But in a community that claims to |
| 55 | +revere a man who came here to love and befriend those who were excluded for |
| 56 | +their differences, homogeneity should be a warning sign that we're doing it |
| 57 | +wrong. I don't just mean ethnic homogeneity, although there's no doubt you'll |
| 58 | +have a hard time finding a church with members from more than a couple of |
| 59 | +different ethnic backgrounds. I mean that we should find was to embrace |
| 60 | +diversity of opinion. Isolating ourselves into sheltered communities divided |
| 61 | +along doctrinal lines cannot be the point of spirituality. |
| 62 | + |
| 63 | +## What is spirit like? |
| 64 | + |
| 65 | +This is another question that fuels my faith journey. I believe there are things |
| 66 | +we can experience that aren't attributable to our normal sensory inputs. I call |
| 67 | +these spiritual or mystical experiences. Other people use more religious |
| 68 | +language, but however you to describe it, spirituality appears to be a |
| 69 | +persistent and ubiquitous part of the human experience. |
| 70 | + |
| 71 | +I experience it as a sense of relentless forward progress, a source of strength |
| 72 | +in my darkest moments, a seemingly source-less inspiration to be more generous |
| 73 | +and loving, and an outlet for my gratitude when I'm amazed at how beautiful life |
| 74 | +can be. Some people call this force/source/motivator God, but there are |
| 75 | +literally thousands of traditions and cultures from every corner of the earth |
| 76 | +that have similar and genuine descriptions of experiencing something bigger than |
| 77 | +themselves. I call it spirit. I find the idea that this phenomenon can be boiled |
| 78 | +down to a list of faith statements and church doctrines repulsive. Seeking is |
| 79 | +worthwhile. Encoding the results of any one community's search in law is exactly |
| 80 | +what Jesus insisted we _stop_ doing. |
| 81 | + |
| 82 | +Many religions have claimed a monopoly on this phenomenon of spirituality. Some |
| 83 | +Christian denominations today insist they know what spirit is like and that it |
| 84 | +_really_ matters that everyone else agrees with them. They are so keen on this |
| 85 | +that they have been willing to trample the core values of the gospel in order to |
| 86 | +spread their ideas about what God is like. From Rachel: |
| 87 | + |
| 88 | +> It seems those most likely to miss God’s work in the world are those most |
| 89 | +> convinced they know exactly what to look for, the ones who expect God to play |
| 90 | +> by the rules. |
| 91 | +
|
| 92 | +In the meantime, spirit is at work in the world every day, but we cling to the |
| 93 | +past like our lives depend on it for the sake of preserving an approach to |
| 94 | +spirituality that Jesus told us is all wrong. In their desperate attempts to |
| 95 | +hang on to rules and social constructs that are fundamentally incompatible with |
| 96 | +our ever evolving reality, religious communities forsake the very God of love |
| 97 | +and mercy who they claim to worship. |
| 98 | + |
| 99 | +## Overcoming cynicism |
| 100 | + |
| 101 | +It's probably already transparent, but I'm extremely cynical about religion. |
| 102 | +Part of the reason is because I know its truth claims are bullshit and its smug |
| 103 | +moral superiority is a sham. Yet something keeps me seeking. For all the |
| 104 | +failings of its followers, I think the Jesus movement has a lot to teach us |
| 105 | +about things that our world desperately needs to know. Things like love and |
| 106 | +reconciliation, acceptance and friendship, grief and pain. |
| 107 | + |
| 108 | +Rachel talks about what keeps her seeking, and I found this insight inspiring: |
| 109 | + |
| 110 | +> Cynicism is a powerful anesthetic we use to numb ourselves to pain, but which |
| 111 | +> also, by its nature, numbs us to truth and joy. Grief is healthy. Even anger |
| 112 | +> can be healthy. But numbing ourselves with cynicism in an effort to avoid |
| 113 | +> feeling those things is not. |
| 114 | +
|
| 115 | +For most of my life this was my approach to religion -- complete rejection as a |
| 116 | +result of pure cynicism. It allowed me to get over the anger and frustration I |
| 117 | +felt toward religious communities, but it also prevented me from seeing anything |
| 118 | +positive at all in them. Letting down that guard has been very hard, and it |
| 119 | +still doesn't take much to send me spiralling back to my former indifferent and |
| 120 | +contemptuous approach to the whole thing. |
| 121 | + |
| 122 | +On most days even approaching these topics with an open mind requires me to tap |
| 123 | +into my deepest reserves of empathy and mercy. Getting over the cynicism is |
| 124 | +hard, but I believe it's the first step toward spiritual growth. |
| 125 | + |
| 126 | +## Continuing the journey |
| 127 | + |
| 128 | +I grew up as an outsider to faith and religious communities. Most of the people |
| 129 | +I know are atheists, but they are more Christ-like than any Christian I've met |
| 130 | +so far. Their love is sincere and unprejudiced. Strangers and outcasts are |
| 131 | +always welcome at their tables. From my perspective, religion has nothing to |
| 132 | +offer them, but could definitely learn a bit about love from them. |
| 133 | + |
| 134 | +I wonder sometimes if this just points to a triumph of those progressive values |
| 135 | +Jesus espoused. Maybe our culture has been so steeped in Christian tradition for |
| 136 | +so long that some of it has finally started to sink in. Not that we don't have a |
| 137 | +long way to go, but I see examples daily of strangers being welcomed with open |
| 138 | +arms and communities coming together to lift up the least among them. Isn't that |
| 139 | +kind of the whole point? |
| 140 | + |
| 141 | +It's hard for a newcomer to understand what the point of church is. All of the |
| 142 | +ceremony and expense of running a church just seems obscene most of the time, |
| 143 | +not to mention hypocritical. As an outsider, it appears to be nothing more than |
| 144 | +a relic of a bygone era -- the last bastion of misogyny and homophobia in a |
| 145 | +society that is finally growing out of those harmful attitudes, a stronghold for |
| 146 | +regressive politics, a cash cow for manipulative and greedy men to line their |
| 147 | +own pockets. |
| 148 | + |
| 149 | +Then I realize that these issues have always plagued human institutions. I |
| 150 | +wonder how many people before us have had the same struggles with organized |
| 151 | +religion but, like me, were incapable of shaking the feeling that there's |
| 152 | +_something_ worth paying attention to there. |
| 153 | + |
| 154 | +The church as we know it is dying, and I can't help but have any feeling about |
| 155 | +it other than "good riddance". But I don't think our desire for connection with |
| 156 | +something beyond ourselves is going anywhere. When I'm honest with myself, I |
| 157 | +have to admit that I'm pretty excited to see what emerges from these ruins. |
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