Rewrite useActionState (#8284)

* Claude update for useActionState

* Human edits

* Feedback

* Add link to form action docs

* oops

* claude feedback

* Add error handling example.

* Better useOptimistic and pending states.

* Move up "cancelling queued actions" and update form example pending state

* Ooops

* Troubleshooting updates

* Feedback

Author: rickhanlonii